Attention, Approval, and Attainment when Building Relationships with Children

1. Learning the 3 A’s which are the Master Tools for Childcare.

When raising your child, it is important to have a positive and consistent childcare system in place at your household. There are lifelong effects that happen in your household that will last a lifetime with your child. Keep in mind that children give back on what they are given during early childhood.

To provide quality care for your child you must include the following models:

Verbal messages- by changing your voice tone and tempo this will provide a secure feeling for the child. As caregivers remember that our daily movements effect the children around us. For example, your attitude can affect the mood of that child around you. Children can pick up on your attitude and they most likely will copy it.

The 3 A’s are the following: Attention, Approval, and Attainment.

As a caregiver you will need to use these master tools for promoting a positive environment and maintaining a positive emotional connection between your young child and yourself.

Let’s get a better understanding of the 3A’s:

Attention-is defined as focusing, visual and auditory on a specific child. As a caregiver you can do so much communicating with just a simple look, without any words. Often the unspoken message will convey exactly how a person is feeling. For example, giving a smile is away to attend to you and to someone else. Another component of attending entails, recognizing ecological from other systems that impact the development of the children. This is Bronfenbrenner’s Theory.  “Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems theory,

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focuses on the quality and context of the child’s environment. He states that as a child develops, the interaction within these environments becomes more complete. This complexity can arise as the child’s physical and cognitive structures grow and mature”. (Paquette, Ryan. 2000). When a teacher is working with your child, they must be culturally sensitive and responsive to the family’s beliefs on how they want to raise their child. It is important as parents to communicate with your child’s teacher on your culture beliefs and how you are raising your child.

Approval-this is defined as feedback that a person is accepted as he or she is. Remember that the best type of attention is approval. Approval of another person is a clear message that you have respect and positive regards for that person. Respect is a feeling of high regard for someone and a willingness to treat him or her accordingly. To show your child that you approve of them is to say to them that they have done something right. By doing this it helps them feel worthwhile, that they are helping. Approval will build trust and self-confidence for the young child. Which in turn will encourage the child to try new things without any fear. One concept as caregiver must

try to learn is to always approve of a child even when you disapprove of their behavior. When you show consistent approval, this will develop a trust with the child. Trust depends on the quantity of time that you spend with your child building the bond together. One way to lose the respect of your child is to shower them with unconditional approval. Try not to do this.

Attunement- this is being aware of someone, along with their moods, needs and interest and being able to respond to all of these needs. You are very in tune parent when you address and meet all your child’s needs, interests and abilities. Attuned parents will often look natural in their interactions with their young child. To be an attuned parent to your child, you will need to devote a great deal of time observing and understanding their behavior. It is important to read in to and respond to your child’s cues. This is crucial to engaging, for instance if something is wrong with the child you will see the signs in their face and will be able to act upon it. When a parent combines all of the three A’s, their child will respond in a positively way to their parents, the world that they live in and most of all themselves.

2. Activities for children using the three A’s

a. Attention-

1. The simile is the simplest form of giving attention to a young child. When it’s the first thing that a child wakes up to in the morning. You are the first person the child sees make sure that you smile at them. Put the child in a happy mood and mind set.

2. A hug, give the child a hug. On a daily basis. A hug will give the child ago a gift of

glee and will assure them worthiness in this world. Touching has a combination of love

and trust. Studies have shown that “female infants tend to be more sensitive to touch than males, and this continues to be true among most adults.” (Pick & Pick, 1970). This helps with the flow of positive energy between yourself and your child.

b. Approval-

1. Providing an opportunity to work on an activity together. For example, building logos together. Work at various time throughout the week to finish the project together.

2. Talk about your feelings to each other. Find a book about feelings and talk with your child on how to be a good person and on how not to hurt any one’s feelings.

c. Attunement.

1. Take the young child to the local park and encourage them to play with the other children. Try to get them to engage in conversation with other children. This will get them ready for kindergarten.

2. Role playing with your child. Showing the social skills and how to have positive interactions with other children. “Barbara Brennan, in her book ‘Hands of Light, speaks of energy as measurable and existing in all of us the Human Energy Field. The universal energy field is like a cornucopia always Continuing to create more energy.”(Brennan, 1989).

3. Child Transactions

As the child transactions from mom to childcare provider. it may be at preschool or a daycare center, the child will experience some sort of separation anxiety.

It is very healthy for a toddler to have attachments to their parents and emotional ties to them, there are several types of attachments that a child can experience.

1. Secure Attachment- The child will use a parent as a secure base and will prefer that parent over any stranger. The child will only seek contacts with that parent. If the parent is gone for a while and comes back, the child will only seek that parent for comfort.

2. Avoidant Attachment-The child is not fazed by the parent separation and may even avoid the parent. The child will prefer to be with a strange instead.

3. Resistant Attachment-This is when the child will seek closeness to the parent and will resist exploring a new environment. The child will soon show anger towards the parent for leaving them.

4. Disoriented Attachment-This is when the child will show an inconsistent attachment to the parent, they will often look away from the parent when they are held.

The most common attachment is:

Separation Anxiety-This is a normal developmental experience with young children. Children will start experiencing it around the age of six months and will increasing in intensity until about the 15 months range. The attachments will range over time and can change in the conditions or the environment. For instance, dropping them off at a new day care center, the anxiety may kick in because it’s a new place. To help the child come out of this anxiety it is important use the three A’s, make sure that the child is feeling secure in their soundings. By having a stable positive environment promotes trust any confidence and allows the growing child to express all their needs.

References:

• Paquette, D., & Ryan, J. (2000, May 22). Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory. Retrieved from http://www.floridahealth.gov/alternatesites/cms-kids/providers/early_steps/training/documents/bronfenbrenners_ecological.pdf
• Pianta, R. C., & Nimetz, S. L. (1991). Relationships between children and teachers: Associations with classroom and home behavior. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 12(3), 379-393.
• http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/0193-3973(91)90007-Q
• Pick, H. L., & Pick, A. D. (1970). Sensory and perceptual development. In P. H. Mussen (Ed.), Carmichael’s manual of child psychology (3rd ed.). Vol. 1. (pp. 773–847). New York: Wiley
• Brennan, B. A. (1993). Hands of light: A guide to healing through the human energy field: A new paradigm for the human being in health, relationship, and disease. Toronto: Bantam Books.