Gender Differences in Communication

 The Difference of Language Used Between Men and Woman

Many have wondered why men and women are so different. Everyone knows that both genders have a different way of talking to each other but no one knows exactly why. Why do males speak differently around females than they do with themselves? Is it through gender stereotypes that cause different language features they use in their speech? Or is there an an outside influence that is causing this phenomenon? The different speaking styles males and females use to converse, shows that their conversations are limited because of the influences of society.

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Throughout time, males were seen to have a different style of communication with females compared to their usual conversations with their fellow sex. This could also be said for females in vice versa. In male to male conversations, men are more seen to tease and joke around with their friends through profanity, sarcasm, or humor. In addition, they tend to avoid serious and emotional topics while females have these type of topics as their every day conversations. In female to female conversations, women are more careful about the choice of words they use and reflect upon the topics of their conversations. But why do men tend do avoid emotional/serious topics and why do females have to think before they speak? Can men also talk to women as if they were talking to their fellow sex? A sample of fifty California State University of Fullerton students were observed and ask about their opinions of this matter. Forty out of fifty males have responded that revealing their feelings, private lives, or relationships would show their weaknesses and that it would lower their status as a “confident, strong” male. Forty-six out of the fifty females have also stated women are more cautious about their choice of words because females tend to be more sensitive and judgmental. And when the males were asked if they can talk to females the same way they talk to their friends, most of them said they can’t. They have stated that their words or jokes could be too harsh and possibly hurt a girl’s feeling as females tend to be more “sensitive” or “emotional.” After the experiment, it was concluded that gender stereotypes was a possible major influence in the reason why men and women both speak differently.

Although it is concluded that gender stereotypes is an influence on how men and women speak, how early is one introduced and influenced to gender stereotypes? Parents are the role models for their children. Their point of view and beliefs can also influence their children’s beliefs and views. For example, a Dad will tell his son not to cry because men don’t cry over trivial things or a Dad will tell his daughter that she is his princess and treats her very gently. A mom can also tell her son to never hit a girl or to never say any mean things to a girl. Therefore, the male would never speak harshly towards or girl or show weakness. Another example would be a Mom telling her daughter her words have consequences and to always be kind to others. Therefore, the female would speak in a polite matter and is cautious with her words. It is shown that the parents can unintentionally integrate the concepts of gender stereotypes in their mind to help their child fit into the social norms of what is right and what is wrong. However, how early can a child learn to differentiate their language between both genders? A study of a one day observation on fifteen preschoolers have been performed. In result, all fifteen pre-schoolers have equally treated their classmates the same. The boys would talk just as roughly to the girls as they would to the boys and the girls would also join in yelling some insults when provoked. However, in recess a boy and girl got injured while running around the slide. The teacher hold the crying girl and comforted her while the teacher aide who took care of the boy, discouraged him from crying. One can see that the children in this early age of development are still oblivious to differentiation of language in genders. Though as they grow up, their personal experience with the people they interact and the people who influence them would slowly change how they speak towards others.

Men and women have different perspectives on the world of communication. Women use the language as an act of sharing and an opportunity to increase intimacy with others, as well as to  express themselves and seek advice from others. While men often more focused on small talk that often revolves around topics related to business, sports, weather, and news where they have a clear purpose of the conversation in mind. (World of Psychology, 3) There are many different types of perspective seen by both genders. But can gender change their fixed mindset to a growing mindset? What would happen if males and females were to change their perspective of language and be more tolerant towards each other? For example, would it be possible for girls to be more tolerant of what others says or for males to be more expressive in their conversations?

A population of ten Fullerton College students were asked. Eight out of ten said that it would not be possible because gender stereotypes have been ingrained into our culture. Therefore, the majority of the people will always have a fix mindset about the language we use towards different genders. In spite of that, two of the ten have stated that it could be possible but it would  gradually take over a long period of time.

It is evident that men and women’s style of language and communication differs in many ways. The analysis of the studies performed for this research shows that the differentiation of the language between genders is due to gender stereotypes. As well as it could be also due to the fact how the person was raised and what types of people he or she was surrounded with. Although both genders speak the same language, the choice of words have been limited because of the pressures of the society’s norms. However, there is hope that someday the people will adapt into a growth mindset and erase the language barrier between males and females.

Works Cited

“6 Ways Men & Women Communicate Differently.” World of Psychology. N.p., 16 July 2014. Web. 13 Feb. 2017.